It’s so interesting how before Grayson I knew nothing about babies. Like nothing. I don’t think I’d even held a baby since my cousin was one 13 years ago. Sure, I was scared about a lot of things. Not knowing what to do when he was crying, how to hold him, how to change a diaper, how to help him grow and develop properly, etc. But then mama instincts kicked in the minute he was put into my arms on that Tuesday afternoon.
I had done a ridiculous amount of research when I was pregnant trying to prepare myself for this new little being entering our lives. I honestly felt so unprepared for motherhood (there is so much information out there) but then when I would talk to doctors or other new moms I surprised myself with how much I actually did know. Maybe my mama instincts were kicking in during those pregnancy months and I didn’t even realize it.
When Grayson was placed onto my chest those very first moments of his life, I felt like I changed right then and there. I was no longer that selfish 24 year old girl who spent too much money on the new fashion trends or the best hair and beauty products. I was this new 24 year old girl who could only think about this innocent little boy and what he needed. What would comfort him, make him happy and protect him. I was prepared to give him my whole world. Give him my every minute of every day to show him how much I truly loved him.
Now, 2 weeks into this new life we’ve built, I can’t even remember what it was like without him. Every day is filled with baby snuggles, baby stretches, baby cries, baby dirty diapers, baby laundry, baby feedings, baby smiles, and baby playtime. Sometimes I forget to eat, I shower less often, and the house is a complete mess, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
I love being a mom. I love being a mom to this little boy because he will recognize my voice, my touch, my face and sometimes that’s the only thing that soothes him at the end of the day. Sometimes I look at him and can’t believe I created this beautiful life. I can’t wait to witness the amazing person he grows up to be but for now I am cherishing each and every moment of this time I can still cradle him in one arm.